Life, Love and Wigs: A Struggle with Hair Loss

a struggle with hair loss

Imagine being 12 years old and you start losing your hair, you don’t know why and no one else does either, eventually you find out the cause and at 14 you learn your life will never be the same. It’s devastating to someone that young and can cause so many personal issues. That was me and dealing with my hair loss made me a very depressed and unhappy person. I was already shy and it made me become more introverted. I was teased at school, though a few thought it was cool and that did help a lot.

I have been wanting to write this post for around 5 years, not because I wanted to talk about my personal journey with hair loss, I have written about it before, but because I wanted to share the images below with you. This is me with my wig on and me without it. I took both of these images on the same day and I wanted to show all of you the real me. What made me decide to take this crazy leap was my up line with It Works pushed our team to do something you have never done and something out of your comfort zone. I have never posted an image of myself without my wig on, but it was something I have really wanted to do and way out of my comfort zone, so here it is!

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Most of the time I am okay with my wig, I’m actually pretty open about it and don’t mind talking about it to people. In fact I did realize in my 20’s that it could be a fun thing and I bought a couple of fun wigs to wear and change out everyday, but when you work and you just want to be left alone, that great inspiration changes, I still was not confident in myself and really had no one to make me feel confident enough to go crazy.

In the past I have had to tell coworkers about wearing a wig because I couldn’t afford the expensive lace wigs you could attach to your head, so I got comfortable talking about it with people I know. I told co-workers so that they wouldn’t try to pull my hair at work. Another thing that does actually suck about wearing a less expensive wig is that they do come off. I had it happen a few times in High School, but luckily the people around me knew about it and rushed to make sure no one else could see. I still went home and cried each time, hating that I had to deal with this.

I have had strangers who have come into places I’ve worked who have asked me about my hair and normally I do lie about it, because it’s none of their business! In fact when I worked in banking I had a women who was rude enough to ask me every two weeks when she came in if I cut my hair again and she would give me a look. It’s like she was trying to get me to tell her it was a wig. I don’t mind people asking, but really please just ask and don’t make me feel like I’m hiding something, I would have gladly talked to the lady, but she really made me feel like I was dirt for not screaming it out to the world.

I’ll be honest, wearing a wig does have a huge effect on my self esteem and confidence, I don’t get to go enjoy a day getting my hair done, I don’t get that bonding time with the girls unless we go get nails done, that doesn’t happen much and because I do now buy full lace wigs it’s really expensive to change the wig a lot, but the biggest effect on my life is not with everyday life, but my love life.

Recently I was reminded how a wearing a wig can make such a difference when dating, I had taken a break from dating and before that I was dating someone who was very okay with it, but just over a week ago I told the new amazing guy I was dating about it and I have not heard from him since, he just stopped texting and ghosted me.  My friends all have told me that he’s a superficial jerk, and I do agree, he was not perfect, but he made me happy and I think things could have gone somewhere if I didn’t have a wig. I know, he would probably not have been a good guy in the end, but I have never even had a boyfriend, yes I’m 34 and have never had a true official relationship, I thought maybe, just maybe this guy could last even a few months or longer.

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I have also had men who have yelled at me for not telling them on the first date, those were crazy men who I know would never have worked out anyway, they showed their true colors at that moment and Karma will catch up with them, in fact I know a couple of them have had it catch up already! Really for a few of them my first thought with their reaction was, oh I thought you had a brain, guess I was wrong!

The truth is, I have lost count of the men I have dated who have taken off when I told them about wearing a wig. Yes, they are all superficial jerks who need to grow up and realize that all those pretty girls will one day not be so pretty, but after thinking about it I realized that society and the media do not help. All we see are images showing us again and again that women are only worth their looks. When women who are bald or women who are large are shown in popular media it’s made to be a huge deal and that they are so brave to do this, the only reason we are brave for doing it is that people still see it as a side show, they laugh about it and make jokes about how crazy that person is. In a way even if the publication has good intentions with the feature, many people still treat what is not “Normal” as a big deal and they will make fun of them.

There is only one way to change this and I think we all need to look at ourselves and our children, because main stream media is not going to change until we make it. Talk to your kids about beauty and what is beautiful. Teach them to have an open mind and look at how a person acts and treats others, not how they look. Looks do fade and one day that amazing hot women you met in your 20’s is an old, maybe a bit heavy 80 year old women who is losing all of her hair and drives you crazy, and not in the good way!

Do you wear a wig? I would love to hear your personal story and how it’s changed your life in a both good and not so good ways.