Some of us are forever “starting again”. Maybe we are telling ourselves that we are going to grasp some semblance of normality. Some of us go through periods of extreme anxiety. It may be because we’re not where we want to be in life or we are just on the hunt for the next thing.
When we are approaching our mid-30s, we wonder, should we take some sort of route to a “normal” existence? We are still doing the same things we did in our 20’s, but is that normal? It’s a question I am asking and a question many of you may be too. What is normal and should we strive for it?
If we are forever looking to the next challenge, or there’s just this feeling of unease in our daily lives, we’ve got to ask ourselves if we are truly happy. Some people are happy plodding along, and just taking life as it comes. But others feel that they don’t serve their purpose. Maybe you’ve been in the same job for so long, and you’re doing everything on autopilot. This then bleeds into your social life; You may no longer feel a connection with your friends. I have been there, and if you don’t feel happy, then you’ve got to start digging deep into your current life…
We can spend our entire lives looking at what is missing, and if we start to overthink this, we may think we found something, and we pin all our hopes on it, when in fact, this isn’t what we needed at all. A good example would be a new career. If we’re unhappy doing what we do, and we think that a certain job serves a bigger purpose to ourselves, and we then go through the life changes to get this career, only to find that it doesn’t sit right with us, we can have spent a long time chasing something that wasn’t really for us in the first place.
We can spend a long time looking for a purpose in life, by asking others for their opinion, but you need to know it’s your opinion that counts. Sometimes it’s obvious to everyone else, but us. Maybe we have spent a long time constantly searching for something that isn’t there when we need to stop and smell the roses. If you are someone who changes jobs every year, or maybe you live the nomadic lifestyle, you may find that you benefit from certain aspects of this constant change, but overall, it’s getting you down. In which case, maybe you’ve been overlooking a sense of stability and regularity…
It’s underestimated. We can rally against stability and security as much as we want, but the human brain demands routine. If you’re someone that’s been plodding along in life, and it’s left you feeling unsettled in your mind, some stability and security may be what you need. For those people that are constantly on the go, overthinking, overdoing, and generally over-being, then finding a few emblems of a settled existence may be the way to a calmer version of you.
Some people have it thrust upon them when parenthood unexpectedly comes knocking, or some form of domestic bliss imposes upon them. But we can rally against this to an extent. Maybe this idea of domesticity doesn’t sound good, or maybe it sounds “boring”. But this can be the thing that you actually craved all this time, but you thought it was giving in to old mother time, and compromising with yourself.
The idea of settling down isn’t as horrible as it sounds. Maybe, these little touchstones of normality that may appear somewhat banal on the surface, this used Volvo, that family function at Aunt Mo’s, this vacation to Florida, that trip to the supermarket, are all
We can go round the houses, looking for the so-called “perfect” existence, when we know we should have listened to our instincts in the very first place. A lot of people get out and see the world, going from country to country, or job to job, or even friend group to friend group, when they know that they have to address the problems within. So why don’t you save yourself some time and address this?
It’s not pretty when you’re looking for a new start in life. However, once you drill down and look at your existence. Maybe, see if you’re running away from something. If you are, then you can begin to figure out what you need to run towards. Sometimes this life can provide all the answers, but maybe it won’t. Whatever it is, you have to understand what you need. It’s so easy for us to play the game of life and fall in line. If you take the time now to ask yourself the most difficult questions you can save yourself a lot of time. It can be tempting to view this as wasted time, but the journey is as important as the destination.
Should we take the route to a normal existence? Society would say that when we’re getting on in years. During our late 20’s and early