As many of you know I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last year, though I am sure I have had it most of my life I have yet to go to counseling for it, but I do want to. I have decided that I am so tired of dealing with this monster.
Here are some personal examples that have set off my anxiety.
Dropping something on my foot. This happened to me a few days ago and it wasn’t too horrible. My toe was a bit cut up, but because I am diabetic I have to worry about injuries like this and it then set off my anxiety. I became really very sick to my stomach. I felt like I had food poisoning. I did not throw up, but I was very sick for about an hour.
When I was first diagnosed I headed to the pharmacy to get my prescription only to find out I had a co-pay and my debit card did not work. I started shaking and panicked, luckily I use to work at the Wal-Mart I went to for the prescription and they knew me and knew something was up. I still felt horrible and embarrassed. I was again sick for about an hour after panic wore off.
Interviewing was really very hard for me. I have gone on hundreds of interviews in my life. I have only gotten 5 jobs. I was always told no, I was over qualified or under qualified. I started to avoid looking for work because I would figure I would just keep getting the same answer. Looking back I realized that all the times I felt ill and thought it was my diabetes it was really my anxiety. When I interviewed after learning about my anxiety it was a bit better as I knew how to deal with it.
Dating is hard. I have had the worst luck with dating. I think though I have finally found a good guy and I contribute that to being on medication. Before I would always panic if the guy didn’t get ahold of me after a date or if we went even one day without texting or talking. Now I’m calmer and I don’t go crazy. I didn’t start out dating that way when I started in my late teens, but after a few years of crappy men I just snapped. Now though I’m able to handle things better and because I have less anxiety when it comes to talking to men I have found better men who don’t take advantage of me.
This is my personal deal with anxiety, I believe that my problem is that I am convinced that no matter what I do something horrible will happen if I screw up. It makes working hard and everyday life difficult. I am hoping that reading this will help others who have this problem see that they are not the only ones and that they are not alone.
Do you have anxiety? Share your story in the comments.