I have been dating online for over 10 years now. I’m still single and for the last few months I have been wondering why I have had not success. I have friends that have had great luck finding love online, two are very happily married. They found their guys in their early 20’s and I think that has something to do with it.
In general as a society we have lost our ability to be human. We can’t look each other in the eye anymore and we constantly pull out our cell phones in order to hide behind them. I don’t know how many times I was at a bar or out with friends and checking my dating sites on my phone. I mean I out with people! I needed to be enjoying myself instead of feeling like I was missing out online. I’m sure I did miss out. On the guy across the room or the man sitting in the corner.
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I do know part of my problem is my anxiety, but now that I know I’m not just shy, and that I have a problem I am working through it. At work I am trying to make eye contact more and more. It’s slowly getting easier, but again many people that come into the bank are on their cell phones and don’t want to talk or make eye contact. I have a tip for you. When you walk in, pocket your phone and keep it there. Tellers are not there to hurt you. It’s great practice for general social skills. Don’t go to the bank? Adapt the same behavior when you get in the check out line, most stores do not allow cashers to play on their phone, their customers are sometimes the only people they can talk to all day. Who knows you may just make a new friend!
That is how I am looking at my life now. I’m not even a huge phone addict. My friends are on theirs so much more then I am, but I still found that I am missing life. Really that’s the whole point of being on planet Earth right?? Life! It seems though that we are so involved in our technology that we are forgetting to enjoy what is around us. Really when you get on a dating site, usually they match you with someone who is not even in your area, because you know when you put in an area that is too small they tell you there are not enough matches. Unless you are willing to quit your job and move then dating sites are not really helpful.
So that is why this week I am deleting all of my dating profiles. I am going to start going out and doing things. I’m going to go to the park and walk. I’m going to go to the bookstore and browse around real books and I’m going to get out and meet new people. Not only do I want to find a boyfriend, but I want to meet new people as well.
Who wants to join me in this new “old” way of dating?
